Okay, there’s some seriously problematic language happening here. Like, real not okay. And I’m going to challenge you to hear what I have to say and take it to heart and not just become defensive because I’m about to call you out, okay?
Virginity is fucked up concept to begin with. It has no actual bearing on a human beings worth or merit as a person or a sexual partner. That’s thing one. The thing you’re obsessing over doesn’t even exist.
Second of all, you don’t “take” something from another person in regards to sexual encounters. You say, “I’ve never took a virginity.” and it really squicks me out. Think about the connotation associated with the word “take.” It’s not about love or pleasure, it’s about ownership. You don’t own another person’s sexual experience. Ever. It’s theirs. You can participate in someone else’s sexual experience at their invitation.
You don’t take shit, you hear me?
It does not matter who was there before you. It has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on you being there now. You should be honored that you have been invited to enjoy someone else’s flesh, their body and their pleasure. You should respect that the choice to share that with anyone, you or someone before you or someone after you, is a very personal decision and you should trust that the person making it is doing so because they find you desirable.
What you’re doing by obsessing about virginity is you’re dehumanizing the person you would potentially be having sex with. Reducing them down to this tiny fact about themselves, that they’re sexually inexperienced, is fucked up beyond belief. You’re saying you like the idea of fucking a concept more than a person. Woah, there son, that’s jacked.
I encourage you to take a few steps back and reevaluate what exactly it is that you’re so hung up on about virginity. Because if it’s this concept of purity you need to take a long hard look at your motives. Having sex does not make you un-pure. And not having sex doesn’t make you pure.
Let it go. Enjoy who you’re with now, enjoy who you’ll be with in the future and worry less about who they’ve been with in the past. Feel honored that you get to be with them now.
This happened yesterday on the sex blog. And shortly after I posted this someone accused me of being “too harsh” on this guy.
I feel like if you’re going to make vaguely predatory statements about people, you deserve to have some one be a little harsh to you.